Growing Up Part 3: Mature and Empowered: Influenced by Intuition

Thanks to technology and fast paced societies, the contribution to lack of self awareness and agreement with outside (of oneself) influences, the natural instincts and intuition have become dormant and perhaps even nonexistent by now (with the amount of adaptation the world has undergone). I don’t know for certain, but I feel quite confident that if one doesn’t strengthen their intuition like they would their vocabulary or their physical muscles or relationships with others, life can become beyond dull. Maturity levels decrease and the next level/chapter of life becomes unread/unopened/undiscovered.

Imagine the potential that never gets sought for because of ignorance or weaknesses beyond the physical. We are lied to and manipulated by many authorities whom we “trust” or just become hypnotized, like marionettes. Many articles are being written, declaring incredible stats about the many who are blind or ignorant to what’s “really” going on in our world. But I believe with the amount of information being delivered and handed to us on a platter, there is no excuse for ignorance anymore, unless one has no access outside of their home or have been hypnotized by their parents, teachers, government, etc with everything locked and controlled. For those fortunate enough to have the access, it’s an option I feel is easily accessible.

I feel confident in stating that I believe everyone matures at a different time, in a different way, in a different fashion and some are faster at maturing than others.

I believe traveling the world is one of the most potent and most foolproof methods of maturing and getting to know beyond the box. Those who travel from a young age are some of the most intelligent beings I’ve ever met. Those who set themselves up in front of the computer or in front of books and learn that way about the world, are too, some of the most intelligent beings I have ever met. There is obviously more than one way to learn, to grow, to adapt, to strengthen one’s intuition and one’s logical mind. It has a lot to do with what stories one is holding onto. How far beyond the box is one willingly ready to explore? What else is one willing to create space for and what stories is one willing to let go of (FEAR based stories created by parents, teachers, media, authorities, self created, etc)?

Knowing what I know now, doing what I do now (and have been doing for more than a decade) I have come to realize that our parents are only our vessels. They do not own us, we are not pets, we do not own them, they are not our possession. They can only do their best to bring us up in the best way they know how. Whatever they did or didn’t do that doesn’t resonate with us, it’s only our responsibility now to forgive and let go. It’s all in the past now. Time to come out of that cacoon, unravel and open up to the vast potential of the Self, no more holding on, no more excuses. Take responsibility and mature through re-empowering oneself.

What would you like to create the space for in your life right now that feels lighter, more in alignment with where you desire to be, that place of optimality and assurance? This can only be accomplished by one’s own steps, the rest are influential, but must surely be “taken with a grain of salt”, acknowledged, considered, but never absorbed as any one truth. For truth is constantly changing, just as the world is constantly evolving and expanding. We must leave room for wonders and mysteries to continue to unfold. We must remain present and aware of where we are already at, love and approve of ourselves, never seek to change anyone, but only that of ourselves, and thus once we change, our perception will and does change and therefore our projection and manifestations.

The concrete jungle is just as potent in growing and learning as the wild natural jungle, for no matter what or where, we always take ourselves with us. Once we are aware that we are already whole and complete, that there is no “second half” or “answers outside of ourselves” only then can true healing take place. The inevitable events and lessons that will continue to take place can be viewed comedically or traumatically. Life can be enjoyable and rather humorous to walk, with presence, patience and compassion by our side.

“Getting a comedic view on your situation gives you spiritual distance. Having a sense of humour saves you. Opportunities to find deeper powers within ourselves come when life seems most challenging. Your real duty is to go away from the community to find your bliss. Breaking out is following your bliss pattern, quitting the old place, starting your hero journey, following your bliss. You throw off yesterday as the snake sheds its skin.”- Joseph Campbell

Growing Up Part 2: “It’s about stage, not age”

Someone once said to me when I was 20, “Doris you won’t be like this by the time you’re 26”. Being the little rebel that I was, I said “Nope you’re wrong! I will always be my happy go lucky self, full of energy, full of zest and life!” It’s a choice. The so called “inevitable” is also a choice to believe. Mind over Matter is very powerful and as complex beings, we’re like machines, like a computer but we are self operated and have control over our next action, and consciousness and awareness make it easier to fine tune and maintain utmost balanced alignment.

In 3 weeks I will be 26, on February 1st. And I feel that little girl in me is still just as alive and strong as she was when she was 10 and 20. As a friend of mine said numerous times to me “it’s not age, it’s stage”. It’s no wonder majority of my friends and romantic relationships have always been with individuals older than me. They are mostly youthful, energetical, have a zest for life and of course a reflection of myself.

I have made countless so called “mistakes”, which are just learning and growing curves, progressively mastering the art of sublimation and transitioning from a state of ignorance and immaturity to wisdom and maturity. I have no regrets for any of my misguidances or lack of experiences. When I was ready the messenger appeared, when I needed to learn my lesson I may not have always been ready mentally, but I am sure grateful I experienced all that I have and continue to do so, without a time limit or agenda.

When I started think about writing this particular blog topic, I was sitting in the middle of the jungle in Ecuador, without internet connection of course (and thank goodness for that: It’s a blessing to be away from radiation and wifi now days) I had plenty of time to reflect on just about anything my mind delved into.

Without effort my busy mind seemed to bring up many thoughts daily. I had no intention of meditating or being in silence mentally when I arrived. Instead of forcing myself to do something that is so unnatural to me, I consciously allowed myself the pleasure of freedom and no remorse. Once the thoughts came up, I remained present and aware of them, then, like a child, I give them attention and acknowledgement and then they subsided and vanished.

I do not suppress my thoughts or emotions. For those who know me well, know that I cannot suppress my tongue. When I have a thought, I share it whether verbally out loud or write it down. Why let a thought go to waste. There are no “bad” thoughts, except a thought not expressed, in one form or another, in my opinion.

Now, sitting in the airport in Lima, Peru, waiting to board my flight to the amazon, I reflect further on my journey these past 2 months and integrate its relevancy to my past few years.

During these years of maturing, adapting, growing, and being, I recognized that for my most valued commodity, my intuition, to be matured and optimal, it was not only fair, but it was the most important form of energy for me to cultivate and strengthen. Intuition is like a muscle, if it’s not strengthened, it will weaken and then what? What’s life without the strength of “spiritual communication”? Personally, for me, it’s a somewhat “incomplete” and/or dull life. It’s like sitting in a forest/jungle text messaging on a cell phone, missing the whole point of being in the nature. (Not being in tune with the present moment, the moment that feeds and strengthens the connection with the higher self).

I’ve been aware for sometime now of what’s going on inside and outside of myself and witnessing and observing myself and those around me has helped me grow immensely. Technology’s existence has helped me be more aware of this.

Read Part 3 to know and understand more in depth.

Growing up Part 1: I admit, I’m maturing and I’m ok with it!

I remember when I was a little girl and I desired more than anything to “save the world”! I thought about being the next Mother Theresa figure, but in 21st century style with a little disobedience mixed in.

I just thought “how can there be so much suffering in the world and so little love?” But I was blinded by my illusions. Little did I realize at the time, the suffering was minute compared to the abundance of love that was and always has been present. Like many, my perception was my projection and therefore my story became my reality. And I chose to believe the lies and illusions projected onto me and be manipulated by those around me who allowed themselves to be manipulated too.

With some years of experience I came to realize that I had the choice to tune out of FEAR station and turn up the volume on LOVE station. My perception of love in the world around me, conquered my doubt and illusions and I was unaffected directly, by the suffering. I was even unaware of most of the stories happening, unless someone had mentioned them. No news is good news so I stopped watching and listening to the news for the past decade. I was both naive and nonchalant. I thought, “Why are people focusing on that which doesn’t serve them? On that which they aren’t even physically present to (like that in a place of war or hunger)? On that which only dis-eases their own mind, body and spirit? Why aren’t they focusing on that which they can control (like what they put on and in their bodies, what comes out of their mouths, who they associate with) rather than what they cannot (like the suffering of another)? Why are they mentioning it constantly and not doing anything but feeding the obvious of turmoil? No wonder I thought about “saving” the world. But that which I perceive externally from myself is that which is inside me. So I was learning about myself through my external reflection. And as the years continued, so did my judgement.

Little did I realize at the time, by focusing on trying to “save” others, I didn’t do much for myself in that department. Like most, I grew up believing that pity, worry, obligation, feeling bad and all those FEAR based stations, were considered not just normal but the way one “should” express themselves when they see or hear of suffering. I later realized that was and is, all part of the illusion. There’s always been another option, which still leaves room for compassion but doesn’t dis-ease the unaffected (who therefore doesn’t become the affected or dis-eased in turn). One becomes that which they absorb and project whether directly or indirectly.

I remember being loved so much by my parents and friends that I got so used to the positive attention. I considered it to be normal and it would bother me when someone didn’t like me or something I did. I had to know what was wrong so that I could fix it and save the poor soul’s energy from lacking in love. I took it personally, rather than realizing it wasn’t me directly they were affected by, but by the trigger of their story. Even though it came naturally, I still found ways to drain myself. I, like many, gave energy from myself rather than through myself and caused much dis-ease for my own energy storages. I cared what others thought, I sought approval and I went out of my way to be accepted whether it was for the authentic me or the “insincere” me. I loved to act, so playing different roles came easy to me. As long as everyone was appearing happy and smiling I believed that I was too. I didn’t know what was true or false anymore. I lived in my fairytale world and it worked for me at the time, so I thought.

I couldn’t tell when I was being authentic. Smiling and being constantly in the state of happy and joyful came so naturally to me. I was afraid of disappointing others at the expense of my own TRUE happiness. I didn’t know any better. I made it my duty to trigger people’s temporary happiness. I allowed others to become dependent on my presence to lift their spirits. I was dishonest with myself because I didn’t put myself first. It was like magic. Someone could be in the worst mood possible and as soon as they’d hear my name or my voice or see me, it was as if they got knocked out of their trancelike state and became happy. I thought it was I who made them happy. I didn’t realize it was the qualities I exuded that brought it out in them and of course this was my story that made it appear so. How can one be of assistance to others unless they assist themselves first? I believe the way one is, is the way one delivers themselves and the delivery of their energy to another.

As time went by, I realized I cannot make anyone anything. I can only trigger a feeling or emotion in someone else, but I essentially cannot do it for them. Thus I learnt the art of perception and projection. As my father used to say to me “If you think so, then it is so”. I didn’t understand that until much later of course. It is only so to the one who thinks and perceives it as so and that’s all that matters to that person and so it so.