A month ago, as a friend and I were talking about femininity, she asked me “doesn’t it bother you a bit to have such hairy legs?” (I hear this often)
“I don’t remove the hair unless I have a partner. I like to feel a man’s touch on my bare skin, I feel it more. It doesn’t bother me otherwise, why, does it bother you? Don’t look if you don’t like it! ” I replied.
“You should do it for yourself, not for someone else,” she commented.
It’s been a while since I’ve had a partner and femininity is something I’ve been really focusing on increasing gradually in my life. There’s something very feminine about smooth legs I admit.
“You’re absolutely right!” I responded, feeling rather silly and immature for denying myself something that actually did bother me a little time to time when I’d see my legs hairier than other men’s actually. I didn’t feel completely feminine because of it. It takes a good 2 months for the hair to fully grow in before I can wax because shaving is not an option for me. If it wasn’t so expensive and if I had the time I may consider doing laser hair removal one day.
“Dressing feminine and more elegantly is so common here in Italy and in most of Europe. Doris you’re so beautiful and very masculine at times, but I’ve seen you very feminine and it really suites you. Don’t you think it’s time to embrace that, empower yourself with that energy and not just do things internally to enhance it but externally as well? Come on Doris, a little more elegant clothing, more emphasis on your hygiene and for God’s sake wax your legs!” I burst into laughter when she said this to me, while walking the streets of Torino, Italy a year ago with a very close and feminine friend of mine. I have heard this over and over again and I have noticed that except in my hippie communities, where most people are searching for themselves, not sure of themselves and seeking for guidance outside of themselves, almost every woman I meet has smooth hairless legs.
Sometimes I took pride in leaving my legs hairy, in spite of all these women. I felt empowered because I didn’t remove that which is naturally given to me. I admit though, that my initial reason for not wanting to express myself through these external ways of femininity is because of my natural inner rebellion. Since as long as I can remember, I often did the opposite of what I was told or what society taught. Check out the pictures in this blog of when I was younger. I could play both masculine and feminine and liked both, especially the masculine at the time. I knew I had the feminine “goods” but so did many other girls and although they really embraced it and expressed it so well, I thought I’d be different and restrict myself more.
These self created stories and restrictions are apart of my past and thanks to them I am where I am today. Sometimes I don’t do what I want, when and where at my time in my way and it’s grand and all but I no longer want it to be this way. I have been enjoying a little more structure and routine gradually this year and I admit I miss it and yearn for it. I worked both smart and at times “hard” to get to where I am today but in a different way than the institutionalized way. I did it by travelling and traveling can be tedious and strenuous in different ways. It’s easy but also not at the same time. It’s simple yet complex.